Let's get our vanity on!

Honestly, if you’re considering a career as a neo-natal practioner, don’t even bother. Google has you beat to shit. Guess when you start showing? 4 MONTHS!!! That means the 10 pounds I’ve put on in the past 60 days is due to my adoration of cheeseburgers and napping! Fucking rad! So I don’t even get to have the sweet relief of slipping into my slim jeans after my abortion. It’s like weaksauce spilled all over the entire world… and I slurped all up with a motherfucking large shake. First world whine, for shure.